In the most conflicted possible experience, I found myself in a two-star hotel during the world’s largest luxury travel conference, ILTM Cannes. But why?
Why I Intentionally Booked A “Two-Star” Hotel
Location, location, location. For this particular event, ironically the world’s largest luxury travel conference, hotels in reasonable proximity to the Palais Des Festivals are secured by the conference and assigned. The nearest reasonable property (less than $1,000/night) is no less than 30 minutes away by car or longer if you wait for provided shuttles which run frequently but not on-demand. It’s often even more expensive or much farther away. Last year, I grabbed an Airbnb but had some difficulties I wanted to avoid this year, but I didn’t have enough notice of my invitation to make better plans closer to the site.
The conference is very specific and time consuming. Scheduled meetings begin at 9AM and run through 6PM with a lunch break hosted by vendors off-site. Each meeting is 20 minutes long and there’s five minutes to navigate to the next one. They could be three floors away and difficult to locate. This invite-only event requires both participants in the scheduled meeting or participants may not be eligible to return to the invite-only event. In the industry this event is highly sought after.
Following the day’s events, dinner with important vendor partners will take participants well into the evening with most finishing around 9 or 10PM which is then followed by further events at beach clubs, and in restaurants, party rooms, and bars across the waterfront. Each night ends at midnight or after where emails and phone calls missed are returned before bed, and then back up to do it again in the morning for four days in a row.
It’s exhausting. Considering the other realities of attendance like clearing security and finding time for a cup of coffee each morning and waiting in that line, the proximity of your room is essential. This room, and that’s all it was, accomplished that one goal and I could be from my door to the security line in under four minutes. That was valuable. Being able to go back to my room during a rare break is pure luxury. An extra hour of sleep is as indulgent as it gets.
I am not interested in bringing unnecessary scorn to the property. Their staff was friendly, accommodating, and the hotel didn’t represent itself as more than it was. I didn’t book it thinking I would have another experience than I did, but because this site is well read it could bring undeserved attention to the property. That’s not the point of this post. Most readers of LiveAndLetsFly haven’t had a two-star anything since their days of youth and don’t aspire to it. But it’s a gentle, if not humorous reminder, of what that experience is like especially in the context of those who never intend to return.
Also, the French hotel star rating system should be burned to the ground.
The Experience
I checked in during the afternoon, slightly before official check-in time opened, and was shown a key and where I could find the one person lift as is customary throughout Europe. My luggage and I ascended to the second floor (third for North Americans) where I used a physical key to open the door. This key was attached to a giant metal medallion that became problematic in my pocket throughout my stay, I ended up holding it in my hand at several security check points to facilitate faster entry.
Bedroom
Opening the door meant I was already in bed as there was an estimated three inches between the door and the mattress.
A small faux suede shoe cover was at the foot. Inside there were two lights, one above the bed with a red shade that was roughly the size of a light bulb and the other a halogen floor lamp straight from my childhood.
Unfortunately, just the lamp above the bed at normal human height was controlled by the wall and was the sole functioning bulb in the bedroom. Try as we might, the maid – who serviced the room daily and with a smile, something hard to come by even in deluxe properties in the US – and I never got on the right cadence of turning the light on from the wall or from a small switch below the shade. Every single day it would be shut off when I returned and I used the flashlight on my phone to find my way to the lamp to flip the switch only to learn that she had turned it off from the wall – or the opposite. We never got it right.
The hotel did include slippers, a stunning touch given the rest of the amenities.
I didn’t have time to watch TV while I was there but if I had, my laptop would have been a larger screen and far closer.
The bed was fine, but low to the ground. There was a desk in an alcove and I set my pocket items there for the next day. A mechanical arm was available to operate the metal slats outside the window and allow in some natural light and a view of another building.
Bathroom
The bedroom was small, inconvenient, but serviceable. The bathroom, however, was a significant step down. The water soaked door (before I got there, I assure you) was a sign of a problem the hotel had no intention to address. A small shower with a glass half covering and the other half a curtain meant that water went everywhere.
The world’s thinnest bath towel hung from a rod over the toilet that was leaning away from the wall by a distressed screw mount.
The shower problems were in part due to a shower wand that would only stay upright when resting against the wall. When turned away from the wall and toward me, it could not stay vertical and would have to be held up. It’s not a huge problem but it is particularly difficult to wash hair with one hand.
The green liquid attached to the wall was neither labeled nor identifiable.
Black mold lined the shower curtain.
No one would ever want to steal the single ply toilet paper, yet a massive metal dispenser ensured thieves wouldn’t abscond with the sandpaper inside.
The pipes were coming apart, years of shoddy repairs covered with a new coat of paint over the old coat that covered the prior mistakes.
Somehow this single room (deluxe because it had its own dedicated en suite shower rather than shared) was a mid-level offering at the “two-star” hotel. It begs the question of the French star system operators, “what conditions precipitate a one-star designation?”
Despite all of this and reviews with photos accurately displaying online exactly what a guest would encounter, the hotel was sold out genuinely at points during my stay.
The Dichotomy
Imagine waking up on a twin mattress roughly 18 inches from the floor, turning on your sole lamp, showering one arm at a time, and then discussing with some of the world’s most elite hoteliers the intricacies and nuance of true luxury experiences. It was the most extreme contradiction.
Each day I’d meet with vendors like the Orient Express with its new rail and incredible new sailing yacht option (which can be paired with its branded hotels as well.) We’d discuss the history of the line, the detail of the itinerary and dining choices, the china, and the incredible value in itineraries that can into the six figures. I’d sit across from hotels like the Laurus (Marriott Luxury Collection, Santosa, Singapore) which brought its own hotel scent to the meeting before heading back to a damp towel to reset for dinner and a mystery green gel that was presumably a form of shampoo.
Rectifying The Atrocity
Cannes is incredible city full of luxury opportunities and following the conference, the busy season is over and the crowds disappear and I was able to snag an incredible Privé rate at the Hôtel Martinez from the Unbound Collection by Hyatt. I dined in their Michelin-starred La Palme D’Or restaurant (utilizing an €85 hotel credit), was upgraded to a sea view terrace Deluxe King and, of course, breakfast in the hotel restaurant. I wasn’t there long enough to enjoy a meandering lunch at La Plage Du Martinez on rue de la Croisette but I won’t miss it the next time I am in Cannes, France.
I’ll publish a formal review of both the Hyatt (Cannes) Hotel Martinez and the restaurant but for now I’ll leave you with some contrasting imagery and a taste of the absolute paradise I experienced when I checked in.
Conclusion
I’m asked all the time what luxury is. Sometimes the answer is Art Deco opulence, but often it’s more space, more time, more flexibility, an elevated service level. Flying nonstop over a connection can be a luxury. An early check-in time (especially after an overnight flight) can be the ultimate comfort.
As I mentioned in a prior post, Will Guidara of Unreasonable Hospitality says “luxury is getting more than you expect.” That holds true for many of the above examples. While my two-star stay was none of those things, it didn’t misrepresent itself as more and I got exactly what I paid for: a conveniently located bed to sleep in that gave me more time. But there has never been a more luxurious experience than Hotel Martinez solely because of my prior experience. There’s never been a more comfortable bed, a hotter shower, a more picturesque view than my final night in Cannes.
What do you think?
