Grief over pet death can be as strong as that for family member. About a fifth of people who had experienced a pet and human loss said the former was worse. Symptoms of severe grief for a pet matched identically with that for a human, and there was no difference in how people experienced losses.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2026/jan/15/grief-pet-death-family-member-survey
48 Comments
I love the studies that confirm what we already knew to be true.
Lots of people consider them family
I’ll never forget a cold and callous manager berating me in a team meeting because I took off 3 days after my beloved dog of 13 years passed. I quit on the spot and walked out.
For some people, a pet will be the most stable and longest lasting relationship they’ll have.
Grief is the price of love.
Roman Epitaph:
“My eyes were wet with tears, our little dog, when I bore thee (to the grave)… So, Patricus, never again shall thou give me a thousand kisses. Never canst thou be contentedly in my lap. In sadness have I buried thee, and thou deservist. In a resting place of marble, I have put thee for all time by the side of my shade. In thy qualities, sagacious thou wert like a human being. Ah, me! What a loved companion have we lost!”
The pain of losing my pet rat when I was young was so painful that I can’t bring myself to own pets today. He was so smart and loving…
I’ve experienced the loss of family members and friends. But I just lost my dog the day after xmas, and its been the hardest grief I have ever dealt with.
It’s been over ten years since the dog we had growing up passed and I still get a little misty-eyed when I see a dog that looks like her. The day I held her while the vet put her to sleep was one of the worst of my life.
I’be had to put several pets to sleep over the years. I’m always there with them until the end. My wife can’t handle the emotions, but I feel like I must be with them until they are no longer there. I will stare into their eyes and tell them I love them. I’ll hold them in my arms until they expire. It hurts so much, but it’s necessary, important. I cry like a toddler when it happens. Their death is very intimate.
Contrast that with the death of a friend or both of my parents. Those hurt alot, but were less intimate. I’ve shed tears, but nowhere near as much, or as intense, as I have over a pet companion that had been a source of daily joy every day for over a decade.
Love Zoey, you will always be remembered, even only being with us for 15 days. Taking care of you was a blessing, we fought so much for you to live, but we know that you came to our house so we could take care of you in your last days on earth. <3
I had my soul cat for 19 years. I adopted her when I was 9 years old. When she passed in my arms, I was inconsolable for weeks. It’s been a year since she passed and I still think of her everyday. Yeah, I agree with this research 100%.
This study goes a long way to proving what many pet owners already know.
What many people don’t understand, is that how much we love something is unaffected by what species that thing is.
One person can pour an equal amount of love into a pet, as another does a person. My cat doesn’t decide how I feel about it, and neither do my children about them. For most people, they don’t even consciously decide it for themselves.
Judgement from others over the death of a pet is improving, compared to what it was 30+ years ago. I think a lot of that is because people are less afraid to show that they are actually grieving, and will stand up to those who mock them.
Hopefully, we see more studies like this.
Grief is one of the best ‘opportunities’ to see who around you needs an empathy boost.
9/10 of the times when someone is grieving, there will be people who immediately try to downplay it. “Oh, come on, don’t be sad, it’s just a cat! You’ll get another! It could be so much worse, *I* lost my mother/grandfather/etc when I was just X years old!”. They think they are being helpful, that they are doing their part, but essentially they just want to make it about them. Pet grief draws this kind of behavior the most out of any kind, but it happens in other cases as well. I recently lost my grandfather and I had people constantly telling me that I should not cry, he died painlessly, he lived a full life to 90. Never mind that we were really close and I’ll never get to see him again, I guess I should wipe the tears and throw a party.
Grief is a very personal emotion, and you are allowed to feel it for anyone you were close to, including pets – and even abstract concepts. If you feel it, you feel it, and telling someone *not to feel it* just because you have some kind of rational explanation is a very dumb & self-centered thing to do. Just because someone’s parents died tragically in a car crash when they were 5 doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to cry when my cat dies of natural causes.
Some things need to be more common sense, but glad there’s research backing it.
For most people you may lost someone close to you that you spoke with a lot, maybe even saw most days. When it’s a pet, it’s someone who’s been by your side 90% + of their life and 90% of your time with them in it.
It’s such a close connection that it’s on par with immediate family, cuz they are.
This makes a lot of sense. Humans will bond with anything, and our emotions don’t distinguish between human and not human. A pet is an animal like us and just like with humans we can love them and bond with them and share memories and experiences with them, and they love us back too. A lot of people like to discredit pets as not being real family members, but they mark all the boxes. I personally don’t think a relationship with an intelligent animal is any less valid than one with a human. That love you feel is real. And the grief that comes with it is too. Humans can grieve ANY emotional loss, regardless of what it is, and animals are no exception by any means.
When my cat died in 2019 I needed a week before I stopped crying. My grandmother, who died around the same time “only” made me cry for a day, and I loved my grandmother. But my cat was my friend who was always there for me, and helped me (emotionally) through very hard times (aggressive cancer diagnosis, for one), more than any human could for me at the time.
I still miss you, Oscar :`(
I lost two dogs in one year, both of whom I loved so much. Easily amongst the hardest years of my life and I still think of both of them constantly.
Lost mine 11 days ago. Very difficult. 15 year old Staffordshire Bull Terrier.
I wonder if the fact that they’re so dependent on you is a factor, you feel a complete responsibility to take care of them. When a relative that you don’t take care of and aren’t responsible dies you feel sad, of course, but you don’t feel the same level of responsibility for their life or death (even if it’s natural and unavoidable). I wouldn’t compare dependent children to pets, but I wonder if that’s also a factor in why a child’s death hits so hard too.
10 years to grieve my Dalmatian. She was 17. Had her since a pup. She was my very best friend and confidant. I did not realize how hard it would be or that it would change who I was in the process. In contrast, it’s taken 2 years to grieve my brother. Can’t explain why, but the dog was so much worse.
I lost my baby girl at 2.6 years old on December 28th 2025. I miss her so much she was the best. She was with me for 2 years exactly. She taught me everything about love.
I lost two wonderful pets in 2025. The first in April, my beloved 17 year old cat that I had since she was a tiny 8 week old kitten. She passed due to dementia and kidney disease.
And in August when I finally found the ability to open up my heart to a new tiny kitten, he passed away only 4 short weeks after I got him. After a horrifying few days in emergency hospitals, he was diagnosed with a congenital defect of his esophagus that was incompatible with life.
I cannot even begin to process the grief of last year, I still feel like I’m in a fog from it all.
The death of my brother was much much worse than the death of my cat. My cat didn’t leave behind two young children and a wife.
The fact you choose to put them down and take them to be euthanized adds to the trauma, guilt and pain in my experience.
The morning after we put my rabbit down was the worst of my entire life. There was a brief moment before I remembered what happened and it all crashed into me again. Twelve years later and I still can’t talk about her last day without tearing up.
I’m curious to see if children and parents ever were beat out by pets or if this is referring to other types of family members
It’s the innocence of pets that makes them hit so hard for me.
They don’t know or understand all the rest of this hectic chaos we mire ourselves in, and they don’t need to. They can’t help but live authentically, and there’s a purity in that.
The loss of our first dog as a married couple hit us hard. He was our “furbaby” for a while and has helped me cope with toughest times in my life. The love we had for him, the love and loyalty he had for us was deep. Definitely not just a pet, very much a member of my family.
Honestly, I’d be shocked if anyone would be surprised by this.
This is very true, but a lot of people just don’t get it.
Stronger than, I’d argue
It’s been 13 years since my ol’ lass Tassie went to sleep. Even now, she’ll pop up in my dreams. As soon as she does, whatever else is going on in the dream, nightmare, what have you, it’s all fine, because I know she’s not here with me, but she’s still right here with me, and I get to hang out with my dog again for one more night.
Having lost my parents and my grandma.. yeah, losing your cat hits pretty hard.
Losing my pup was honestly just as bad as losing me da – she went first, so it was my first major loss of a constant – maybe that inured me to the pain. When my da went like a year later it was horrific of course, but on the same level as losing my dear lil girl. Never said that to anyone IRL cuz I thought they’d think I’m a psycho or didn’t care about Da like I should have.
This research validates what many pet owners have experienced but society often dismisses. The emotional bond between humans and companion animals can be profound, involving daily routines, physical affection, and unconditional positive regard. The lack of societal validation for pet grief (disenfranchised grief) can actually make it more difficult to process. It’s encouraging to see researchers advocating for including pet loss in diagnostic frameworks for prolonged grief disorder, as this could improve access to mental health support for those experiencing significant distress.
My dog’s death devastated me. My dad’s death annoyed me. Then again, when Winter ran off, she came right back home.
Just lost my grandmother, father in law, and cat within a two month period. I’ve never cried so much as I have over my girl Skittles.
My pet was the only time I’ve experienced in my entire life the feeling of bonding and the feeling of being loved.
It makes a kind of sense. I don’t have any negative memories of my cat, but people relationships are much more complex, with good and bad interspersed.
I’ve been luck to not, as of yet, experience the loss of a close family member. I always assumed it would ruin me when it eventually happens.
Now, I guess, I’m grateful to have lost pets to prepare me for it.
I have cried more over the loss of my dog than for the loss of my dad.
I can’t save my mom. She’s going to do it to herself. I can’t move for her. My mother had a stroke and refused treatment after a year of treatment. Went from someone who could walk 150ft to not. Because the one thing she wants is to watch TV. She is happy that people are bringing her things and she doesn’t have to do anything.
I could have saved my dog if I had…
Last my boy of almost 14 years last Christmas Day. Was and is much harder than any family loss, including my father getting sick. My boy was part of me and there were days I didn’t think I’d make it through.
Losing my last dog was harder than losing my father.
I only read the headline and top comment, but I would guess that it has a lot to do with whether the family member was someone who you were directly responsible for. That is, you might not feel the same about your grandma or even own mother who lives across the country dying as you would if she lived in your home. Similarly, a senior in college out of state wouldn’t feel the same about their childhood dog passing as they would if they were still at home.
My Cat passing was horrific, I like the women that threw themselves on coffins screaming to go to.
When my mum passed away, it was just another Tuesday.
>About a fifth of people who had experienced a pet and human loss said the former was worse.
Okay, im not saying pet loss is not important. But if a person says, a pet loss>human loss, they definitly haven’t experienced someone who close him/her dead.
You can have another pet and live through that after a while. But losing your parents&child&spouse will definitly make you worse. Or even best friend. And worst part, you cannot replace them with someone.
Well yeah you spend all day with a little thing for years, feeding it, cleaning up after it, snuggling with it and loving on it… it sleeps next to you every night, greets you every day when you get home. I don’t have any humans in my life who do that with me but if I did I would imagine the grief would be much worse than if it were an animal…
In 9th grade, I had a bunny that only lived for a few months. She was the family pet, but she ended up becoming mine. The bun died while I was at school, and years later, I overheard my mom tell her friend, “I cried harder when that stupid rat died than when my own father did.” Like 15 years after, she randomly pulled me aside and said “I’m so sorry you couldn’t be with bunny. I always felt very guilty.”
My next bun lived to be 13, so that was cool, but I don’t think I’ve ever cried as hard as when she died.