Australia Day means different things to different people, and that is a powerful mental-health lesson. For some, 26 January is about backyard barbecues, being in the heat, watching the cricket and kids running around together. It’s a day to pause, feel connected and enjoy the simple pleasure of belonging. From a psychological perspective, these moments matter. Feeling part of a community is one of the strongest protective factors we have against anxiety, depression and loneliness.
But for many Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Australians, this date represents invasion, loss and intergenerational trauma. For them, it is not a celebration but a day of mourning. Increasingly, many non-Indigenous Australians are choosing not to celebrate on this date out of respect or are feeling conflicted about what to do. That tension is something my clients, colleagues, students and friends talk about.
People often ask, “If I don’t celebrate, am I being unpatriotic?” or “If I do, am I being insensitive?” The truth is that holding two truths at once is ok and it’s psychologically healthy. We can love this country and feel grateful for its safety, beauty and opportunities while also acknowledging the harm caused by colonisation and the trauma that still echoes through generations. In therapy, we call this complexity tolerance, the ability to sit with discomfort rather than forcing ourselves into simple, black-and-white answers. It is a sign of emotional maturity.
This matters for mental health. When people and their histories are ignored or minimised, it causes harm. Intergenerational trauma doesn’t vanish because we avoid the conversation. It shows up in families, communities and our bodies. Being willing to listen, reflect and acknowledge the truth is part of how healing begins.
At the same time, mental health is not supported by shame or self-punishment. It is ok to enjoy time with family, take a day off, go for a swim or share a meal. What matters more than what you do on the day is how you do it, with awareness, respect and kindness.
Perhaps Australia Day becomes less about fireworks and more about reflection. Perhaps it becomes a chance to feel grateful for what we have, curious about what we were not taught, and compassionate toward those whose experience of this country has been very different from our own.
In clinical psychology, we talk a lot about values. You might value family, community, fairness, truth or reconciliation. Your choices on this day can reflect those values in quiet ways, through learning, listening, donating, attending a local event, or having an honest conversation with your children about why this day is complicated.
We don’t all have to do the same thing to belong. In fact, real belonging grows when we make room for difference. And maybe that is what a mentally healthy Australia really looks like? Not one that avoids its past or shames its people, but one that is brave enough to hold many stories at once, and kind enough to let them all matter.