Pull your kegs down, reach around and take a steaming runny dump on your hand, throw it on a paper plate, squelch on a tie and some googly eyes. Finally, use your finger and draw in the same insufferably smug ‘smile’ as on display in the picture above and voila! There you go, job done and would still be better than Truss.
Don_Quixote81 on
The Tories diving even deeper into an ever more shallow talent puddle and coming up with… this lot.
Locke66 on
If it’s any of those three continuity candidates then the Tories have learned nothing by their defeat and will gift Starmer a second term.
takesthebiscuit on
Honestly if any of the apparent front runners win Starmer should just cancel PMQ’s or at least opposition leaders 6 questions.
Ed Davy has more credibility as the leader that actually folk expected to lead the party
barriedalenick on
Well that’s the sound of the barrel being scraped.
Tom Tugendhat seems the most sensible choice so I can guarantee it isn’t going to be hikm
limaconnect77 on
Have been hearing fairly solid support, on various WhatsApp groups, for Jeremy Hunt.
Edit:- Hunt, not ‘Cunt’.
shredditorburnit on
Wow…I wouldn’t trust any of them to run an egg and spoon race without shitting their pants, let alone run a party or (heaven help us) the country.
FedUpCamper on
It just needs to not be one of the wets in the party.
ferrel_hadley on
71 seats lost to the Lib Dems.
2 of the Lib Dem top 20 target seats are not Conservative.
This means any move to the right could lose them as many votes as it gain and see them losing seats to the Libs as much as potentially gaining from Labour.
The Reform vote will be ageing out and their will be another 5 years of Gen Z.
They have to lean into the One Nation and competence rather than dial up the culture wars and Brexit.
The real risk for them is the Liberals becoming the party of choice for middle class southern England.
melody-calling on
I don’t imagine it will be any of the candidates in the image, the Tory party lost millions of votes to reform so they’ll need to win their votes back to have any chance in 5 years time and they wont win back the most racist and old fashioned without a white man at the helm.
bateau_du_gateau on
The fundamental problem the Tories have is that even if you agreed with their policies you shouldn’t vote for them because none of them are competent enough to deliver *any* policy. Like Priti Patel talked tough and made all the right speeches but she couldn’t actually get anything done. Braverman is the same. Badenoch at least is not too tainted by a track record of absolute failure.
Its_Dakier on
In the name of good faith, I’ll list my preferred choices.
1. Ben Wallace – Former defence secretary, widely respected by his peers in party and on the opposite benches. Principled and has butted heads with the precious leader. All-round decent bloke and not been very active since resigning, so far enough away from the pandemonium.
2. Tom Tugendhat – A little mediocre, but still has the ability prove himself in a more deeper role. He spearheaded the hawkish nature on China and anyone who is sanctioned by the CCP can’t be that bad of a person.
3. James Cleverley – He’s been at the front line long enough. Many call him pragmatic, but he’s sold himself yo tow the party line a number of times. If Starmer can get away with it, I don’t see why Cleverley can’t. Fun fact, he also got some praise on James O’brien’s show for not being awful. Must be worth something to moderates.
Transsexual_Menace on
Well I am sure they’ll carefully consider where they went wrong before and who they really need to carefully rebuild their party, then give it to their membership and choose one of those three evil chucklefucks.
Iactuallyreaddit on
I hope they choose whoever is furthest right ideologically and abandon the centre, because then I feel their moderate voters will abandon them for the lib dems.
corbymatt on
Ahh.. I can hear the country screaming now..
# WHO GIVES A SHIT?
Common_Lime_6167 on
Surprised anyone wants it now. Would make sense for IDS to do it for 3 years as a caretaker leader then they have the real leadership election in 2027 when the new leader has time to get ready for the next election.
MikeSizemore on
Plenty of choice underneath that well scraped barrel.
sock_with_a_ticket on
Constantly surprised that Badenoch comes up in these discussions. Sunak’s smug ‘I am very smart, you peasants’ superiority that turned tetchy and terse when he was questioned went down very poorly and she’s, if anything, even worse with that than him. She’s always come across as if having to actually interact with people is a chore and that having to engage with challenges to anything she’s said is in an indignance.
Might be more palatable than ‘Why has she not defected to Reform?’ Braverman or ‘Bring back the death penalty’ Patel, but that really is the definition of damning with faint praise.
going_down_leg on
Tories going to try and out right reform instead of out centre labour and I think it’ll be a big mistake. If they joined with reform I think a lot wouldn’t stomach it and jump ship to the Lib Dem’s, potentially losing their place as official opposition.
chocobowler on
I’m fully expecting an out of left field Gavin Williamson leadership contest win
Rednwh195m on
Assuming Starmer goes the full distance the could merge with Reform and each MP could have 2 weeks in the job.
RofiBie on
I honestly couldn’t care less. The Tories are irrelevant. They need to learn this. Then maybe they might learn some humility.
jx45923950 on
It’s nice to not give a fuck, given for the first time in 14 years and however “Tory leadership dramas” it has been, this person will have not a shred of power over our lives.
NeverGonnaGiveMewUp on
I don’t agree with any of their politics but any moderate Tory was ousted by the haystack.
Those left are spineless human beings towing the party line at best, vile snake like creatures at worst.
EddieHeadshot on
Who on earth are the tories expecting to win back over with this rabble. I doubt they’ll get the more “brexity types” back from Reform.
dav_man on
They need a clear out. None of the rabble post Cameron should be near it.
rugbyj on
Why does this link to a random aggregator site that links to the BBC article?
manufan1992 on
Well, there’s only 121 to choose from!
And they’re all just as insufferably inept and corrupt. No one wants the job. Would you?
pajamakitten on
They might someone suitable down the back of the sofa perhaps. I suppose they have will have a very easy job nowadays anyway, seeing as how it will just be a few years of them booing and jeering at anything Labour offer up to clean up the mess the Tories have left them.
Shitelark on
All three of these will think the ‘lesson’ to be learned from the election is to dive even further into the depth of the right. Ridiculous people.
avatar8900 on
Nobody cares about the tories anymore, they’re a bunch of has bins. They have no power here, they’re selecting the king of the sewers
BreakfastSquare9703 on
The best thing about all this is that it doesn’t matter. This is no longer a battle for No. 10, just someone to continue their internal squabbles until they get their act together and gain power in another 10 years or so.
Cheap_Answer5746 on
I honestly hope it is isnt the two racists – Braverman or Jenrick. Both corrupt af but good at shining the lights on immigrants or homeless or trans.
If there’s one ive realised as an ethnic minority is most Brits don’t like the far right. Even the racist ones find the far right unpalatable. People don’t want lynch mobs walking around. And racist Brits become liberal very suddenly and back again. They’re not into fascism which is one observation Hitler also made about Brits
Badenoch is slightly deluded but otherwise hard working and patriotic
Tom T. I’m anti war but seems screwed on .
Atkins don’t know much about her but looks sensible
Priti Patel should retire.
karpet_muncher on
They need kemi to win.
She’ll drag the party more to the right. When those numbers fail they’ll choose another right winger who’ll drag it again to the right.
Only then will it dawn on them that centre is the place to occupy and elect a moderate
Not a big tory fan but there needs to be an opposition that needs to hold the govt accountable
PloppyTheSpaceship on
“Why look, it’s this brand-new candidate from out of nowhere, Figel Narage!”
DeadEyesRedDragon on
Unfortunately, I don’t think Tory voters voting for a POC will ever work, case and point a few days ago.
BetterPerspective466 on
We all know why the same people who voted for brexit and the tories in 2016 and 2019 now voted for other parties … it’s pretty obvious … they didn’t want a brown man as PM…
So, unfortunately, if the tories want to survive they need to go back to their stereotypical candidates
Mrgray123 on
Well they can go right to try to claw back the reform voters but that risks completely alienating the large number of MPs who are still pro-Europe. Any alliance or deal with Farage is also likely to result in a wave of resignations by Conservatives who despise him.
However what’s the point in trying to go back to the center? That’s where Labour is right now as well as the Liberal Democrats.
38 Comments
Pull your kegs down, reach around and take a steaming runny dump on your hand, throw it on a paper plate, squelch on a tie and some googly eyes. Finally, use your finger and draw in the same insufferably smug ‘smile’ as on display in the picture above and voila! There you go, job done and would still be better than Truss.
The Tories diving even deeper into an ever more shallow talent puddle and coming up with… this lot.
If it’s any of those three continuity candidates then the Tories have learned nothing by their defeat and will gift Starmer a second term.
Honestly if any of the apparent front runners win Starmer should just cancel PMQ’s or at least opposition leaders 6 questions.
Ed Davy has more credibility as the leader that actually folk expected to lead the party
Well that’s the sound of the barrel being scraped.
Tom Tugendhat seems the most sensible choice so I can guarantee it isn’t going to be hikm
Have been hearing fairly solid support, on various WhatsApp groups, for Jeremy Hunt.
Edit:- Hunt, not ‘Cunt’.
Wow…I wouldn’t trust any of them to run an egg and spoon race without shitting their pants, let alone run a party or (heaven help us) the country.
It just needs to not be one of the wets in the party.
71 seats lost to the Lib Dems.
2 of the Lib Dem top 20 target seats are not Conservative.
[https://www.electionpolling.co.uk/battleground/targets/liberal-democrat](https://www.electionpolling.co.uk/battleground/targets/liberal-democrat)
They are mostly south east and south west.
2 of the Cons top 20 targets are to Labour, they are mostly east anglia and the south.
[https://www.electionpolling.co.uk/battleground/targets/conservative](https://www.electionpolling.co.uk/battleground/targets/conservative)
This means any move to the right could lose them as many votes as it gain and see them losing seats to the Libs as much as potentially gaining from Labour.
The Reform vote will be ageing out and their will be another 5 years of Gen Z.
They have to lean into the One Nation and competence rather than dial up the culture wars and Brexit.
The real risk for them is the Liberals becoming the party of choice for middle class southern England.
I don’t imagine it will be any of the candidates in the image, the Tory party lost millions of votes to reform so they’ll need to win their votes back to have any chance in 5 years time and they wont win back the most racist and old fashioned without a white man at the helm.
The fundamental problem the Tories have is that even if you agreed with their policies you shouldn’t vote for them because none of them are competent enough to deliver *any* policy. Like Priti Patel talked tough and made all the right speeches but she couldn’t actually get anything done. Braverman is the same. Badenoch at least is not too tainted by a track record of absolute failure.
In the name of good faith, I’ll list my preferred choices.
1. Ben Wallace – Former defence secretary, widely respected by his peers in party and on the opposite benches. Principled and has butted heads with the precious leader. All-round decent bloke and not been very active since resigning, so far enough away from the pandemonium.
2. Tom Tugendhat – A little mediocre, but still has the ability prove himself in a more deeper role. He spearheaded the hawkish nature on China and anyone who is sanctioned by the CCP can’t be that bad of a person.
3. James Cleverley – He’s been at the front line long enough. Many call him pragmatic, but he’s sold himself yo tow the party line a number of times. If Starmer can get away with it, I don’t see why Cleverley can’t. Fun fact, he also got some praise on James O’brien’s show for not being awful. Must be worth something to moderates.
Well I am sure they’ll carefully consider where they went wrong before and who they really need to carefully rebuild their party, then give it to their membership and choose one of those three evil chucklefucks.
I hope they choose whoever is furthest right ideologically and abandon the centre, because then I feel their moderate voters will abandon them for the lib dems.
Ahh.. I can hear the country screaming now..
# WHO GIVES A SHIT?
Surprised anyone wants it now. Would make sense for IDS to do it for 3 years as a caretaker leader then they have the real leadership election in 2027 when the new leader has time to get ready for the next election.
Plenty of choice underneath that well scraped barrel.
Constantly surprised that Badenoch comes up in these discussions. Sunak’s smug ‘I am very smart, you peasants’ superiority that turned tetchy and terse when he was questioned went down very poorly and she’s, if anything, even worse with that than him. She’s always come across as if having to actually interact with people is a chore and that having to engage with challenges to anything she’s said is in an indignance.
Might be more palatable than ‘Why has she not defected to Reform?’ Braverman or ‘Bring back the death penalty’ Patel, but that really is the definition of damning with faint praise.
Tories going to try and out right reform instead of out centre labour and I think it’ll be a big mistake. If they joined with reform I think a lot wouldn’t stomach it and jump ship to the Lib Dem’s, potentially losing their place as official opposition.
I’m fully expecting an out of left field Gavin Williamson leadership contest win
Assuming Starmer goes the full distance the could merge with Reform and each MP could have 2 weeks in the job.
I honestly couldn’t care less. The Tories are irrelevant. They need to learn this. Then maybe they might learn some humility.
It’s nice to not give a fuck, given for the first time in 14 years and however “Tory leadership dramas” it has been, this person will have not a shred of power over our lives.
I don’t agree with any of their politics but any moderate Tory was ousted by the haystack.
Those left are spineless human beings towing the party line at best, vile snake like creatures at worst.
Who on earth are the tories expecting to win back over with this rabble. I doubt they’ll get the more “brexity types” back from Reform.
They need a clear out. None of the rabble post Cameron should be near it.
Why does this link to a random aggregator site that links to the BBC article?
Well, there’s only 121 to choose from!
And they’re all just as insufferably inept and corrupt. No one wants the job. Would you?
They might someone suitable down the back of the sofa perhaps. I suppose they have will have a very easy job nowadays anyway, seeing as how it will just be a few years of them booing and jeering at anything Labour offer up to clean up the mess the Tories have left them.
All three of these will think the ‘lesson’ to be learned from the election is to dive even further into the depth of the right. Ridiculous people.
Nobody cares about the tories anymore, they’re a bunch of has bins. They have no power here, they’re selecting the king of the sewers
The best thing about all this is that it doesn’t matter. This is no longer a battle for No. 10, just someone to continue their internal squabbles until they get their act together and gain power in another 10 years or so.
I honestly hope it is isnt the two racists – Braverman or Jenrick. Both corrupt af but good at shining the lights on immigrants or homeless or trans.
If there’s one ive realised as an ethnic minority is most Brits don’t like the far right. Even the racist ones find the far right unpalatable. People don’t want lynch mobs walking around. And racist Brits become liberal very suddenly and back again. They’re not into fascism which is one observation Hitler also made about Brits
Badenoch is slightly deluded but otherwise hard working and patriotic
Tom T. I’m anti war but seems screwed on .
Atkins don’t know much about her but looks sensible
Priti Patel should retire.
They need kemi to win.
She’ll drag the party more to the right. When those numbers fail they’ll choose another right winger who’ll drag it again to the right.
Only then will it dawn on them that centre is the place to occupy and elect a moderate
Not a big tory fan but there needs to be an opposition that needs to hold the govt accountable
“Why look, it’s this brand-new candidate from out of nowhere, Figel Narage!”
Unfortunately, I don’t think Tory voters voting for a POC will ever work, case and point a few days ago.
We all know why the same people who voted for brexit and the tories in 2016 and 2019 now voted for other parties … it’s pretty obvious … they didn’t want a brown man as PM…
So, unfortunately, if the tories want to survive they need to go back to their stereotypical candidates
Well they can go right to try to claw back the reform voters but that risks completely alienating the large number of MPs who are still pro-Europe. Any alliance or deal with Farage is also likely to result in a wave of resignations by Conservatives who despise him.
However what’s the point in trying to go back to the center? That’s where Labour is right now as well as the Liberal Democrats.