“Problematic when a girl rejects them”: What do boys in Kosovo (not) learn about consent?

“Problematic when a girl rejects them”: What do boys in Kosovo (not) learn about consent?

In Kosovo, the headlines are often similar: another case of sexual harassment or assault, another boy suspected. The statistics prompt the question: What are boys in Kosovo learning about consent in intimate relationships?

In the first half of this year alone, 47 cases of sexual harassment, 31 cases of sexual assault and 52 cases of rape were reported to the Kosovo Police.

Although Radio Free Europe was unable to obtain data on the gender and age of those suspected of committing these crimes, the picture becomes clearer when analyzing media reports and judgments published by the Basic Courts of Kosovo.

An unmarried boy tries to forcefully kiss a girl he follows on the streets of a village in Gjakova, another forcibly touches a girl’s body in Prizren without her consent, another sexually assaults a girl in Suhareka as soon as she gets off a bus, and another sexually harasses a girl in Gjilan by sending her degrading messages…

This is not unusual. In the US, over 90 percent of perpetrators of crimes against sexual integrity are men, similar to Australia and Canada.

But Besarta Breznica, program officer for addressing gender-based violence at the Kosovo Women’s Network (KWN), says that in Kosovo, the situation is a bit more complicated.

“Unfortunately, in Kosovo, men and boys think they can achieve whatever they want, in whatever ways they want. Of course, it’s problematic when a girl or a woman rejects them,” Breznica tells Radio Free Europe.

According to her, the problem lies in the patriarchal mindset and upbringing that follows young boys from home and society. But also education.

What is taught about consent in school?

In Kosovo, there is no sex education subject in primary or secondary schools. However, the Ministry of Education, Science, Technology and Information (MASHTI) says that the curriculum gives “considerable space to health education and sexual and reproductive health.”

How was this done? By dividing those lessons into different subjects, such as natural sciences, society and the environment, biology and physical education, sports and health.

“Seeing the need for health education in the formation of a healthy society, MASHTI has created appropriate policies for the education of young people through a series of documents that will enable children and young people to be provided with information, so that they are able to make right decisions for themselves and others,” says MASHTI’s response to Radio Free Europe.

However, sex education is insufficient, says Breznica. There, rather than about consent in intimate relationships, young people learn how to protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies.

“Women in Kosovo have historically been treated as sexual objects, they continue to be treated as such. So the issue of consent… men and boys are not familiar with this concept,” says Breznica.

What is consent in intimate relationships?

The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN), the largest American non-profit organization against sexual assault, defines consent as “agreement between participants to engage in sexual activity” and adds that “consent must be clearly communicated and freely given.”

Furthermore, consent cannot be given by minors, drunk, under the influence of drugs, sleepless, unconscious, under pressure or threatened.

“Unequal power dynamics, such as engaging in sexual activity with an employee or student, also mean that consent cannot be freely given,” the RAINN website states.

According to a 2022 study by the Women’s Foundation of Canada, less than half of Canadians know what consent means. The same research found that men under the age of 55 showed a greater lack of knowledge about consent than those older than XNUMX.

There is no such data for Kosovo, but Breznica believes that such knowledge is noticeably lacking.

She gives an example that she says illustrates the mindset in Kosovar society: sexual violence against girls is still justified based on their clothing, general appearance, or things like that.

“We have very fundamental problems that need to be addressed. Knowing why someone is dressing a certain way does not mean you have the right to touch them or harass them,” says Breznica.

She adds that, based on the cases that the Kosovo Women’s Network itself has handled, it has been observed that even security institutions are not clear that sexual violence can occur within a married couple.

“Because in Kosovo it is believed that as long as someone is married, you have to sexually serve the other person even if you are not in the mood to do so,” adds Breznica.

These problems, according to Breznica, make it clear that “it is extremely important to work on changing mindsets.”

Incorporating school lessons about consent is not enough, says Breznica, if teachers are not trained on how to address this topic.

“During my education, when we had to deal with something about sexual aspects in primary school, the teacher skipped that chapter. Most likely, this still happens,” she says, adding that this happens especially in rural areas.

So, what is the solution? While workshops are held in some countries around the world where boys learn what consent is, Breznica believes that, in the context of Kosovo, a campaign on social media would have more impact.

“There can be many campaigns, especially on Tiktok where there are the most followers. And when you see the same thing over and over again and there’s constant talk about liking, maybe someone’s mindset can be changed,” she adds.

Last year, a major public debate was sparked in Kosovo over three manuals for teachers from grades one to five, six to nine, and 10 to 12 on sex education.

After some misinterpretations and much criticism, MASHTI said it would remove these manuals from use and that they would be reviewed by a special committee of experts. /REL/