I found this piece very interesting, it is based on a qualitative research study from OsloMet: One-night friendships: A Norwegian phenomenon (it’s in Norwegian but I would encourage you to read a translated version if you don’t read Norwegian). Edited to use a gift link instead of the one I had originally used.
Sixteen internationals have been interviewed about Norwegians and friendship. An American respondent says that they joke with their US friends about "my one Norwegian friend"since they find it very difficult to get more than one.
The respondents also share that arenas that work for making friends in other countries, don’t necessarily work here, like yoga classes. And I found that very relatable; I am Norwegian but I have never really talked to anyone in or after my yoga classes or other group exercise classes. (Of course things like a language class or a cooking course might lend themselves more to making friends, but still.)
Would love to hear what others think about the article! Personally I would like to have more international friends, but not really sure how! (Sorry for the flair, didn’t really know which one to pick.)
What friendship is like for foreigners in Norway (piece from Aftenposten)
byu/LonelyYogurt92 inNorway
Posted by LonelyYogurt92
5 Comments
Is there a non-paywalled version available?
Ah, the paywall stopped me, but I think it’s pretty spot on. All my foreign friends say the same, most of them have maybe one Norwegian friend, or sometimes not even a real friend, just an acquaintance. Even my uni classmate who grew up in Norway but has a foreign background(he speaks Norwegian fluently and went to school here), his social circle is almost entirely other first- or second-generation immigrants.
I also think people from other cultures, even if they’re more open than Norwegians, get tired of always being the ones who have to put in more effort or take the initiative.
Btw, if you want to make friends with foreigners, I don’t think it’s that hard, it really just depends on what you’re looking for.
I think many western foreigners in Norway seem a bit Naive.
If you hang out with some strangers at a bar, or even at work at a lønningspils, thats just it.
Nobody will consider you a friend afterwards or even remember a stranger from yesterday. Yeah, people will talk to you if you seek them out and even keep the party going, what do you expect next day?
These ‘its hard to get friends in Norway’ discussions have been held on Reddit for 10 years now. Its always the same naive complaints i.e. ‘I managed to get to talk to some people in an alcohol setting, why dont they invite me for dinner the week after’.
Followed by quite a few foreigners saying its not unique to Norway, its difficult to build social networks innany country.
The main complainer is usually a western person 20 to 38, without children (though sometimes samboer) who have a dead end job in Norway.
Usually no network building at work which could work as his omgangskrets, so it has to be social network and not a professional one, and no close family in the country (and was never close with his biological family anyway). What to suggest? This dude would struggle with lonelyness if he was native too.
Boardgames and fritidsaktiviteter, is the common suggestion, I guess.
I know that some norwegians make a tight knit friendgroup early in life, and then decide they have enough friends. Those friendgroups ofte become impregnable even to other norwegians.
A lot of norwegians like to stay at home with their spouse and kids most of their free time anyway. Then they see the designated friend group and extended family on certain occasions throughout the year.
That being said I think making friends as an adult in a new place is difficult everywhere on the planet.
Most people haven’t moved to foreign countries as adults, and thus project their understanding of the culture as the source of the issue that few people realize – making friends as adults is very hard. Try going to LA as a 46 year old with 2 kids. See how easy it is to make a lifelong friend talking on the bus.