I've been reading a recent article from FT (https://www.ft.com/content/23053544-fede-4c0d-8cda-174e9bdce348) that shows a disturbing trend across the US, UK, and Europe. Young people are spending significantly more time alone compared to 2010:
- In both the US and UK, 20-year-olds spend about 6 hours alone per day in 2023 (up from ~4 hours in 2010)
- In Europe, around 40% of young people don't even socialize weekly
- The trend is consistent across all regions studied
This isn't just about being lonely – it's about fundamental human needs not being met. We evolved as social creatures, and real human connections are crucial for mental health and emotional wellbeing, personal development, building support networks, learning social skills and finding romantic partners.
The root cause and the elephant in the room is how incredibly engaging digital entertainment has become. It's literally outcompeting our evolutionary need for real-world social connections. Think about podcast bros, mobile gaming, TikTok games or just brain rotting while watching content in a never-ending feed.
While economists debate whether AI will replace jobs, we're missing a bigger question: Is online entertainment becoming more engaging than hanging out with friends?
Online world can become more charismatic, more sexy, more funny and more addictive. Look at China's booming female-targeted game market. Games like "Love and Deepspace" are offering romantic companionship that competes with real relationships. Or look at booming AI girlfriends market in the US with pioneers like Replika or Candy.ai
If nothing changes, this could lead to:
- Increasing mental health issues
- Declining marriage/birth rates
- Weakening community bonds
- Reduced emotional intelligence in society
- More people struggling with basic social skills
Instead of just highlighting a problem, I think these could be potential solutions:
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New social networking app that uses engaging elements from current apps like Snapchat/Instagram but incentivizes and gamified real-world meetups. It could reward actual face-to-face interactions and make meeting friends fun and achievement-based. I don't believe current social networking apps will work on such features because they play in attention economy game rather than trying to good for the society.
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Community initiatives can help a lot. Regular local meetup groups for shared interests in nice and fun environments. Setting a new trend for tech-free social spaces, including hotels, resorts and SPAs. Community sports leagues and regular neighbourhood events are always fun and solves similar issues.
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And finally, each of us can adjust our personal habits that can also inspire others. For example, setting "social budgets" like we set screen time limits and proactively inviting friends and family to gather together. Schedule tech-free hours and changing them with real life social activities.
What are your thoughts? Have you experienced this "digital displacement" in your own life?
Young people are spending much more time alone than in the past
byu/ticaragua inFuturology
6 Comments
Or cut them off from social media / only allow x-hours a day between said hours so they’re FORCED.
Their brains are made to believe that they’re engaging through social media and that’s its the same as real life but it’s not.
Social media where you share your life is destroying everything.
It’s a good thing phones are now banned from classrooms.
Another big thing: The gradual loss of “third places.” There’s home, work, and some third place you hang out at.
Kids can’t go play outside anymore without someone calling the cops on them and ranting about how horrible their parents are for not watching them.
Groups of teenagers are assumed to be up to no good.
Going to see a movie, going to a museum, going to the arcade, etc. has gotten more and more expensive over the years. Bars and coffee shops want you to buy something, otherwise they’ll nudge you out the door. Wages haven’t kept up. There are less and less places you can go without spending money, and people have less and less money to spare.
All of your friends work different schedules, or even live in different cities/states chasing a job to keep a roof over their heads. My friend group went from meeting up every couple of months when we were 16 and all lived in the state to once or twice a year now.
Most people have a phone and an internet connection, so you no longer have to make do with whoever lives in your area.
Making IRL friends is a higher wall to climb than it was 20 years ago. And for most, connecting online is easier than that.
There’s not gonna be much to do if I go out after work at 10pm. But I can come home, jump on discord, and chat with friends for a couple hours before they go to bed.
it’d be nice to do community and hobby meetups, if libraries and loitering and parties and after school programs weren’t under constant threat
While I’m an optimist, this topic brings about a vehement cynicism in me from having to answer this question of “Why don’t you or your friends go out more at your age.” I can only offer my own current reality, so my perspective is heavily biased and should be taken with a grain of salt, but it’s a perspective from one of the people in the demographic:
Where the heck are we even supposed to go that won’t cost us?! Most hangout spots/third spaces have been closed or need us spending money we don’t have. Or even “better,” groups of us being seen as up to no good and being told to leave places.
Whether it’s for travel or the place/activity itself, it doesn’t help that we can’t really afford much nowadays. Many young people (high school/college and graduates alike) in my area are struggling to even get part-time work with most of us being unemployed, with full time work being a pipe dream. We are all stuck having to live with our parents, while the few that are living on their own spend so much time trying to survive that we don’t even see them in our friend groups anymore from overworking.
There’s no opportunity for us to have independence to try things out (and it’s not from a lack of trying).
But you know what we DO have to bond over and keep ourselves occupied? I know it’s dreaded, but it’s YouTube/TikTok videos. Online games. Discord groups. Twitch Streams. Social Media. Any haven we can find online for our interests, or sharing memes, or whatever because at least that’s something we can afford to do solo, or with friends for “free” and without dealing with the restrictions of our environment and circumstances.
God forbid, it also gives something for some of the unfortunate peers of ours in isolated areas with no real activities or people they can relate with to do.
I get it. We are a more isolated generation, and we aren’t receiving a lot of emotional needs. We lack support systems, sure, and it’s a struggle to feel close to anyone. Is it lonely? Absolutely. Does it suck? Without a doubt. Do we know it’s bad? Yes! A thousand times so. But at the end of the day, what are we supposed to do? We can’t just magically fix all the problems getting in our way, or even know how to fix it at this point because we don’t have the means to affect that change. Death by a thousand cuts, and it’s painful — but just let us enjoy what we can while we bleed, okay?
I still try to hold out hope, and try to build towards something positive for the future. But, it doesn’t stop the fact that quite a lot of us are giving up.
I don’t like being a cynic, and prefer having Hope. Even on the days where it’s hard, but I don’t blame how so many of my peers have decided to just let this entire charade rot.
as a teenager i think that covid and short form content really fucked our shit up for socialization it’s really crazy how many people my age just can’t get off instagram and tiktok
The disappearance of third spaces and the rise of technological forms of communication replacing in person socializing, is not new.
Kids these days don’t go out and play with each other because there often is no place for them to do so safely.
On the other hand people use tech to communicate.
I can show you comics from the 40s and 50s about parents complaining that their children talk all day on the phone and if you go far enough back you will find people worrying about the effects of printed books on society.
I wouldn’t worry too much just because things change.