Young women say ‘I don’t’ to taking husband’s surname
https://www.thetimes.com/uk/society/article/young-women-surnames-marriage-equality-wlcqhqnk7
Posted by YchYFi
Young women say ‘I don’t’ to taking husband’s surname
https://www.thetimes.com/uk/society/article/young-women-surnames-marriage-equality-wlcqhqnk7
Posted by YchYFi
48 Comments
My cousin got married last year, her Husband took our name.
Is it still a problem?
I have some amazing and smart women in my life that have built careers long before they were married – none of them changed their names. Professionally it made sense since they had developed good reputations in their fields of work.
Funny I’ve never seen any articles about how 99.99% of men say ‘I don’t’ to changing THEIR name when they get married…
Good …finally a generation of women raking a stand! because this was a tradition of a patriarchal institution I.e. marriage. The woman was seen as man’s property and therefore took on their surname. They were and still are handed over from the father to the husband at the alter. It’s totally ridiculous tradition and should be phased out. Why should anyone take someone else’s surname.
Archaic and absurd practice anyway. Its rooted in the belief that women have no value to a family unit except as the matriarch of someone else’s family unit. Time it was consigned to history.
Fun fact: this thing of changing surname happens mostly in the anglosphere but not in the rest of the world.
I would never change my surname for any woman, nor do I expect anyone to do the same for me…
Especially in a country where 50+% of marriages end in divorce
Doesn’t make too much sense for the wife to change names in this age of every document attached to your name. Huge hassle changing everything, even more if you travel
Mine didn’t. Would’ve spent a pretty penny trying to change all her official stuff and would’ve delayed her immigrating to me.
I’m getting married this August and no plans to change my name. I’m quite attached to it personally. My fiancé isn’t too keen to change his name either. It’s just too much of a hassle and I can’t be bothered
I kept my name when I got married. I got married pretty late and had a reputation wrt my work already so it made no sense destroying that. Also there wasn’t a hassle changing my documents. Best possible solution imo. Atleast for me.
As a kid, I always said I’d never get married because I’ve no interest in giving up my identity or becoming someone else’s possession.
I cooled on the marriage part when I found out name changing isn’t legally obligatory, but never on the surname. My name is just my name. If I got married, why should I be expected to change my name? Why does my partner not even have to think about it? Why is my name and my personal identity considered irrelevant, but his is important? Like, actually why, though?
I love my partner to death but I’ll also be keeping my surname, or I’ll double barrel. If we have children, they can have my partners name, I just feel strongly about my surname being part of my identity, it’s who I am.
I actually had a client at work a few weeks ago talk about marriage with me and he was so offended on my partners behalf when this came up lol. He said I surely don’t “believe in my man” and the name thing doesn’t matter because he’ll own me when we get married regardless.
It’s still common practice, these articles are weird and are jumped on by social media.
Personal choice isn’t it ,who cares !
My wife took my name ,and kept her name too.
Plenty of women still take the surname of their husbands, but it makes sense now why they wouldn’t. And it wasn’t just an oppression against women.
But it’s for the same reason many women won’t want to nowadays. Men were the bread makers and built careers while women looked after the kids.
Women hold just as much value in the workplace and for that reason I can understand why they’d want to keep their name.
Plus, as someone else has mentioned. Our names are linked to so many things now that it does seem like a hassle to change.
We married in uk 23 years ago. My wife keep her surname. Changing her surename is in the past.
My wife and I hyphenated our surnames together when we got married. I had women i work with say to me that they wanted to this but their husband “wouldn’t let them”.
Forget marriage altogether, it’s has a declining relevance in modern relationships. It’s not necessary or beneficial for a fulfilling committed life and has legal implications to your life.
It imposes bad social norms.
I changed my name but I’m now divorced and despite changing it back to my maiden name my ex’s name still haunts me. Its incredibly hard to get it changed everywhere and so often I have to list is as “have I ever been known by another name” on forms.
My ex had an affair and I’d like to forget he ever existed.
I always thought it was a good idea as a couple to decide which name you prefer. I have friends both men and women who have taken their partners name because they’ve preferred it.
It’s also fine to keep your original surname professionally and have your married one at home for private stuff, I know people who do this as well.
Doesn’t have to be a man Vs woman thing just take the one you like best.
My wife didn’t. It’s quite the hassle with all the new documents required. Just keep the name as is, makes no difference.
My mother got married to my step-dad after being together for over 20 years. Did it as a logistics thing should one of them die. Didn’t change her name because it would have been a right fuck on generally
Got a mate who took his wife’s name as it was her brand, and frankly it was a lot cooler.
I got married 26th April (so last Saturday). Not changing my name. It’s part of my identity, I can’t imagine changing, it feels so strange to even consider it. Much less paperwork for me as well which is a bonus. Not sure what we’ll do when it comes to kids but i guess we’ll worry about that later
I didn’t change mine. I’m a teacher so I’m so used to hearing my own surname (usually shouted by a dozen kids at a time) that I didn’t feel comfortable using something else.
It also seems like a massive hassle. I kind of like having my own identity as a person. Our son has his surname which is completely fine.
I’ve always hated how women essentially lose their identity when they take their husbands name. How many women’s graves have their birth name? How many women have been forgotten for who they were and not who they became
My surname is part of me. I wear it with pride. Both mine and my husband were always called by our surnames in school so it’s part of who we are.
I get a warm fuzzy feeling being called Mrs. *Insert husband’s name here* but legally ill keep my name forever.
Probably what the toerags who voted Reform will campaign against next.
Ridiculous that this is still a thing. Why would you take your partners name? The same with children having the father’s name automatically given without having a say in the matter. My wife has her own name and our children carry her name too, they can decide later what they want themselves.
It’s always the men with shit last names like Cox or Dick who cry about their wives not taking the name on like lol, let the name die. I like my last name so I won’t change it unless the other person’s is even better
My fiancée and I have talked about it, we’re both keeping our names. Her surname is from her culture and it’s pretty, and mine is boring, but I also clearly don’t suit her surname either. So neither of us think it’s worth changing.
There’s no kids involved so I don’t think it matters.
My wife comes from a Spanish-speaking country where keeping your name is the norm, in fact it’s illegal to change your name without a court order and only permitted in a very strict set of circumstances (e.g. adoption).
When we were setting a date for our wedding in the UK she found the prospect of changing her name really weird, as though symbolically she’d be leaving her family and coming into the possession of mine. So we just left it. Does seem a bit of an anachronism, these days.
In the end, what stopped me was the thought of all the forms I’d have to fill in to change everything
I got married last year and kept my name cause I couldn’t be arsed to change it
Wife didn’t change her name, her being from another country it’s a massive faff to sort that out internationally.
Fair enough. I always thought that women changing their last name was a bit invasive.
My husband and I created a portmanteau of out last names when we married. This was 25 years ago, and we were both young enough not to have built careers or finished higher education yet. I think I would have made a different decision if I had already made a name for myself in my career.
I’m getting married next year and there’s no chance I’ll be taking my partners surname, it sounds stupid with my first name and also my surname is a connection to my culture which id like to maintain
I’ll drop in the one I got a lot when we both double barrelled
“but what will the children do if they get married?”
WhAteVeR the fUcK TheY wANt tO, ThaTs ThE FuCKIng pOInt.
I kept my name – couldn’t be arsed with the paperwork
In france, a lady’s maiden name, i.e., what is on her birth certificate, is her identity through life. Nom de jeune fille
I intend on keeping my name when I get married. In fact my partner wants to change his last name to mine because he hates his surname. Our kid already has my last name
Well yeah, what’s the point? People weirdly romanticise the historic sex slave aspect of marriage.
Someone tried to insult me by saying to me “i hope you only have daughters so your family name dies out” cos i joked about along with them about being single, which they self-deprecatingly do all the time. And the fact ive said im fairly neutral on meeting someone or not as it doesnt bother me that much, which seemed to show how insecure they are about themselves. Also highlighted their deep-rooted misogynistic beliefs.
There are some seriously sexist and insecure men in here today.
In the non western world, women don’t take their husbands last name. Which is pretty normal.
As a man I would never change my own name. (Unless it was embarrassing 😂) So why would I expect my fiancé to change hers? I’m also perfectly happy for her to use Ms or Miss,
As an Italian that moved to Wales around 10 years ago, I would have never imagined that such barbaric, medieval like and ass-backwards practice was still a thing in the UK. Changing your surname when you marry has such a “you’re my property” connotations that it baffled me that basically all of the women that I met in the UK were 100% OK with changing their surname after marriage. While this is an option in Italy (that basically no women chooses) in the UK is basically the status quo and you’ll be considered a “weirdo” if you didn’t change your surname after marriage.
Why would anyone change their name on marriage?
Are women still required to signal they are chattel goods of their purchasers? Sorry, husbands?