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  1. Uranus is a completely unique object that defies the known physics of the Solar System and all observed planets.

    The only possible conclusion is that it is an alien spaceship.

  2. Heard the press was coming, so used their last Groupon for a special ‘Glow Up’ day spa.

  3. I wonder if it was the “tactical accelerant ion navigation technology”. It has an acronym but I can’t remember what it is.

  4. Uranus was visited “in the middle of a rare and explosive […] event.”

    Happens to the best of us.

  5. Wouldn’t it be great if we had orbiting satellites around every planet in the solar system.