hello! I was born in Lithuania but have grown up in the states. while I can speak lithuanian fluently, I was not taught it formally or how to read and write. my mother has been going through a difficult time and I wanted to present her this poem in the hopes that it would resonate. would really appreciate feedback!
https://i.redd.it/3wfyhpwboyng1.png
Posted by europeanxtrash
5 Comments
Writing poems is not for you
I suggest posting original if it’s in English. It reads a bit weird in places.
But few I notice
Tu jas prižiūrėjai ir jomis rūpinaisi. *
“bet jausmai išlieka tokie ryškūs” – I’d remove “tokie”
Garbage.
You should give more information to GPT, let it know that you’re sending it to your mom/female, because in your translation it’s worded as if the receiver is a male, do it for all future conversations.
Jūroje radau gėlių
Tu jas prižiūrėjai ir jomis rūpinaisi
Mes vaikščiojome Palangos gatvėmis
Aš valgiau karamelinius ledus
Mes rinkome grybus
Tavo mama juos konservuodavo
Mane erzino tas kvapas, bet vis tiek jos labai ilgiuosi
Kaip ir **tavęs (**(if you meant to say that miss her also) “kaip ir tu” doesn’t fit here, unless you’d mean that time passes just like her.)
Laikas eina
Šie prisiminimai mano atmintyje blėsta, bet jausmai išlieka ryškūs
Mes uždegame žvakes
Mes mylime
visiskas meslas