Does he want more handouts by bullying the government again?
Slimmanoman on
That’s never happening. They’d be too scared to leave the stability of Switzerland for the jungle that the US is
Xeelee1123 on
No bailouts needed by us then.
nlurp on
Gentlemen, don’t worry. Just elect me for UBS President and I get this.
Bierculles on
Great, that means the rules are working.
fabkosta on
The situation is dramatic. With new regulations for extremely large, extremely Swiss international too-big-to-fail banks out of which there are still too many to count left in Switzerland, Sergio Ermotti could be forced to receive only 13.8m instead of 14.9m CHF in salary in the future, despite his undeniable stellar performance as the ~~Verwaltungsrat at Swiss Re~~ CEO of ~~Credit Suisse and~~ UBS. Plus, his good-morning Gipfeli brought to him by his secretary would have to shrink by a 3.2% in size, otherwise UBS could no longer afford anything at all. The shrinking of the Gipfeli would cause hundreds of thousands of unemployed Swiss employees to take a vacation all at the same time, which would lead to crowded beaches all over Europe, Bali, Philippines, Cancun and Playa del Mar exactly during summer vacation.
To make things worse, the reputational damage for Switzerland would cause immense <something allegedly negative>, while, in reverse, Swiss people withdrawing their money from a non-Swiss UBS would actually not have any relevant impact on the company at all.
“We would remain as the only financial magicians here”, says an anonymous Blockchain expert from Zug. “I mean, who else would sell people high quality financial advise with UBS gone?”
Others do not see the future so bleak. In a statment publicized by a group of CEOs from Postfinance, ZKB, St. Galler Kantonalbank, Raiffeisen, Berner Kantonalbank, Luzerner Kantonalbank and many others senior managers show full sympathy for UBS leaving, and recommend the Swiss population to move their money to a more local bank. “We would regret UBS moving out of Switzerland, of course, but we are there to fully support their high net-worth individuals with anything they need to switch to another Swiss bank institute, including coffee and Gipfeli.”
flonnil on
in other news: gennaro gattuso wants to abolish yellow cards.
Pristine-Button8838 on
Pathetic, coward bankers
aFailedGuy on
Yeah i dont believe a word hes saying, USB would never want to dare leaving Switzerland, the reputational damage to them woud be to high and the cost of leaving to big
11 Comments
Well, goodbye you little shit then
Good, they can also take Nestlé while we are at it.
Does he want more handouts by bullying the government again?
That’s never happening. They’d be too scared to leave the stability of Switzerland for the jungle that the US is
No bailouts needed by us then.
Gentlemen, don’t worry. Just elect me for UBS President and I get this.
Great, that means the rules are working.
The situation is dramatic. With new regulations for extremely large, extremely Swiss international too-big-to-fail banks out of which there are still too many to count left in Switzerland, Sergio Ermotti could be forced to receive only 13.8m instead of 14.9m CHF in salary in the future, despite his undeniable stellar performance as the ~~Verwaltungsrat at Swiss Re~~ CEO of ~~Credit Suisse and~~ UBS. Plus, his good-morning Gipfeli brought to him by his secretary would have to shrink by a 3.2% in size, otherwise UBS could no longer afford anything at all. The shrinking of the Gipfeli would cause hundreds of thousands of unemployed Swiss employees to take a vacation all at the same time, which would lead to crowded beaches all over Europe, Bali, Philippines, Cancun and Playa del Mar exactly during summer vacation.
To make things worse, the reputational damage for Switzerland would cause immense <something allegedly negative>, while, in reverse, Swiss people withdrawing their money from a non-Swiss UBS would actually not have any relevant impact on the company at all.
“We would remain as the only financial magicians here”, says an anonymous Blockchain expert from Zug. “I mean, who else would sell people high quality financial advise with UBS gone?”
Others do not see the future so bleak. In a statment publicized by a group of CEOs from Postfinance, ZKB, St. Galler Kantonalbank, Raiffeisen, Berner Kantonalbank, Luzerner Kantonalbank and many others senior managers show full sympathy for UBS leaving, and recommend the Swiss population to move their money to a more local bank. “We would regret UBS moving out of Switzerland, of course, but we are there to fully support their high net-worth individuals with anything they need to switch to another Swiss bank institute, including coffee and Gipfeli.”
in other news: gennaro gattuso wants to abolish yellow cards.
Pathetic, coward bankers
Yeah i dont believe a word hes saying, USB would never want to dare leaving Switzerland, the reputational damage to them woud be to high and the cost of leaving to big